A Reflection on a New Friend

Written By: David Moser on February 2011

After three years of serving on the Resolutions Committee, I finally had some work to do. The Resolutions Committee is set the task of vetting and editing resolutions submitted by individuals or congregations to be sure that they fit the conference guidelines. I know; this sounds like a dusty bureaucratic task. It is.

In the past three years, the only resolutions I have had to work on were simple one page thank you notes directed at the congregations that have hosted the yearly summer gatherings of the Central District Conference. This was a very manageable burden I was happy to carry for the sake of the Church.

Then Robert Martz, the pastor of Topeka Mennonite Church , submitted a real resolution proposal, and all of a sudden I found myself having real work to do on behalf of the conference. But I am learning that the real work I have to do is less to do with whether a proposed resolution is written properly or whether it fits the conference guidelines for a resolution. Rather, the real work has to do with building a relationship with another pastor and another congregation. The real work has to do with listening and trying to understand someone else.

I have known Robert for the past five years. He is the “conservative pastor” who started serving at Topeka Mennonite church about the same time I came to Southside Fellowship.  Well, at least I thought I “knew” Robert. As I drove over to Topeka to meet him for the first time to talk about his congregation’s resolution proposal just before Christmas, I thought our conversation would be all about church politics, the Mennonite Confession of Faith, and theology. But I was wrong. I was wrong, because our conversation wasn’t at all about church politics, the Mennonite Confession of Faith, and theology. Now I could see that I really didn’t know Robert.

Over lunch at Tiffany’s, I quickly learned to like Robert. He comes from Texas, and moved to Elkhart County when the company that employed him transferred him here.  It was here he met Mennonites and came into the Mennonite church; then he left the corporate world to start a second career as a Mennonite pastor. He and his wife finished raising their daughters, and then adopted three more children and started raising a second family. He loves his wife, his children, and his congregation. So do I.

His congregation is small, and struggling to survive in a small town. They are situated in a community with lots of Amish and Mennonites, as well as about one hundred immigrants from Yemen who have formed a Mosque in Topeka .

He described his church as the “liberal congregation in town and the conservative congregation in the Central District Conference.” He wonders what the future will hold for his congregation. So do I.

Just before Christmas, Robert came to Elkhart to have lunch with me. We ate at Rikki’s and I introduced him to the best burrito in Elkhart County . He asked me questions. He learned that I love my family and my congregation. He learned a little about my story. Then he gave me a hug and prayed for me and Southside Fellowship before he left.

A couple of Saturdays ago I attended a Central District Conference Regional meeting in Goshen . Numerous people from congregations as far away as Atlanta attended the gathering. At the start of the day, we were assigned the task of getting to know each other better.  I found myself at a table with a woman from Topeka Mennonite Church . When asked to share a story about her church she shared a story about her pastor, Robert.

The woman shared that in Robert’s first months as pastor he learned that the woman’s daughter needed a new kidney. The daughter, who had grown up at Topeka Mennonite, had returned home from Fort Wayne for a visit. Robert got to know her and the struggles she faced having to go to the hospital for regular dialysis. Then Robert did the unexpected.

He offered the woman one of his kidneys. When the doctor’s tested Robert for compatibility, they found he was an excellent match, and wondered if the two were siblings. Robert gave his kidney, and five years later the woman is living a healthy life free of dialysis. But what touched me most were the tears in that mother’s eyes as she recounted the story of how her pastor helped save her daughter’s life.

All of these experiences have reminded me that there are two ways to get to know someone. Talk with them. Or listen to someone who really loves them tell you about them.

I am sure there are a lot of differences between Robert and myself on matters of church politics, theology, and how we read the Mennonite Confession of Faith. He is still the “conservative pastor” from Topeka and I am still the “liberal pastor” from Elkhart . But if labels like these are a stumbling blocks to getting to know someone, respecting them and really listening to them; then I am grateful, very grateful that I have, by a grace larger than myself, been afforded the gift of seeing beyond such labels and have gained a new friendship with Robert.

I want to get to know Robert better. I hope to get to know his congregation better too. I can see now I really didn’t know Robert at all. I am sure at some point we will take up the topics of church politics, theology, and the Mennonite Confession of Faith, but I am glad we didn’t start there. I am reminded that the beauty of the Christian faith is not in the details of our doctrine – it’s in the details of our dialogue with one another. It is in coming to value and respect one another. It is all about relationship; relationship with each other; relationship through Christ; relationship as a gift of the Spirit.

Now who is Kendra Yoder, really?

Written By: B.Harry Dyck on February 2011

A lot more than I would have ever guessed, and that is not to imply I had set my expectations too low. It is just that after digging into her background from childhood to the present one becomes magnetized by her obvious joy of living, by her attainments in academia and related arenas, by her commitment to the elimination of sexual and domestic violence, and to her capacity to be a ray of sunshine in our world’s cloudy present and future.

Coming out of a home that practiced respect and integrity in all aspects of life, Kendra has obviously allowed the best of parental and community example to nourish her own life and make her what she is today: an effulgent spirit of embracing joy – a trait that will no doubt identify her till her dying day.

Kendra Lynn Yoder was born in 1973 in Nairobi, Kenya, daughter of Kermit and Sharon Yoder, long time Menno Travel Service (MTS) workers in both USA and Africa. Upon their return to the US, and specifically to Akron PA, Kendra found herself in the milieu of the Mennonite church and in the local elementary school. One of her favorite teachers was none other than Erma Bowman (the mother of Beth Bowman, deceased first wife of SSF pastor, David Moser).

Kendra, as might be expected from one so cheery, admits to no serious negatives in school expectations, although math and science were not her favorites. (She has wondered since if that was because she really didn't like these subjects or if she was steered in other directions as a "girl."). Be that as it may, Kendra opted to pursue English and psychology in college, social work and eventually sociology in graduate school.

But in the course of such academics, there were extracurricular interests to add color to her credentials, one of which was music. Kendra picked up the flute as early as 4th grade, and for the next 13 years, she mastered that instrument to the extent that she played in band (which gained recognition by being chosen all district band), and orchestra outlets in elementary, high, and college years.

High school graduation led to further academics. In Kendra’s case the most natural choice for post high school was Eastern Mennonite University, a place that brought her face-to-face with a significantly more conservative Mennonite perspective in both bible and religious practice than her experiences at home or at Akron Mennonite Church. It proved to serve as an incentive to flesh out her values leading to a very deliberate acquisition of a lifestyle of her own choosing as over against a mere acquiescence to traditional faith statements. Not by accident, by her senior year at EMU, Kendra's contributions to the university were recognized by her election as Co-President of the Student Government Association, by her receipt of employment in the Admissions Office upon graduation, and by her being invited to co-lead numerous study semesters abroad, not the least of which took her to the Middle East and Western Europe.

Kendra had an additional fervor for living throughout high school and college. She manifested this as a full-fledged athlete in women’s field hockey. Not only did she co-captain the EMU Royals to the NCAA Final Four, Division III Field Hockey Championships in 1995, her team (which included her younger sister, Kari, and six other good friends/seniors) went undefeated that year in their conference and in that same year placed third in the nation. To top it off, the entire team was recently inducted into the EMU Hall of Fame.

After marrying David Lind in July of 2000, Kendra moved to Columbia, Missouri where she began a Masters in Social Work program at the University of Missouri. Her focus quickly became the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, and Women's Studies more generally. After finishing her MSW, she worked for two years as an advocate and counselor in a local women’s shelter. That experience eventually led to enrollment in a PhD program in Sociology at the University of Missouri, a pursuit yet to be completed. She is currently ABD (= "all but dissertation") in her program and is determined to graduate in May of 2012.

But then came November of 2009 and the following year all academics came to a screeching halt. Kendra took on a role for which – at least to my knowledge - there is sadly no Hall of Fame into which to be inducted. Kendra has given herself to mothering, or perhaps not too facetiously said, smothering with all embracing joy and love, her three young babies: twins Desmond and Amari (adopted in/from the Democratic Republic of Congo) and arriving just ten months later, one little ’Adele’ to add variety and noise to the bliss. (Is there not some lore that asserts, “All good things come in threes?” Well if not, Remember, you read it here first.) The fact of the matter is, Kendra’s effusive joy seems undiminished, and with the friends that surround her by way of family, church, and the community at large, she seems perfectly at peace to accept the challenge.

Now what? Well, she still has some work to do on her PhD requirements and remains committed to graduating in May of 2012; she still needs to keep herself physically fit (primarily by way of racquetball with Suzanne Ehst once or twice a week); she still intends to reclaim her talent as flautist; , and . . and . . .well, maybe that will suffice for the present. Oh yes; she also wants to be a supportive spouse for one fellow sociologist in the mix of life at home.

From this writer’s perspective, there ought to be a Mothers Hall of Fame, with Kendra Lynn Yoder among the first to be so recognized.